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; 15 years of age
attending corinda state high school
haters : hate all you like, its out of my hands
love.. does it really matter anyway?
cos when i said forever, forevers what i meant .
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Monday, December 2, 2013 3:53 AM
Honest post.
You know at the end of the day, when it comes down to it, I hate to say that time was what let us down. Of the multiple ridiculous reasons that I could think of, there are so many -trust me- it was time and the timing. I honestly thought there was something there between us, I mean I know I do over think, like alot. But honestly speaking, you can't tell me we didn't have chemistry hence why the public and our friends could see it too. I know I'm probably a minority but I feel like I can't work on something if you're too busy to talk to me and then when I talk to you I either get cold responses or no reply whatsoever. No matter how minor or silly the conversation was, it put a smile on my face, and it stayed there. Because it was you who I was talking to, every night almost, I get that we can't exactly do that anymore with your timetable but when it comes down to it, we don't do it at all anymore. And I was afraid that we'd lose the bond, but the matter of fact is, it's already gone. I pushed back getting my license because I enjoyed Monday nights. I loved that we could talk all night without even realising what the time was until I got called home. I loved Monday night because.. Because it was our night, regardless of whether or not plans fail, you were always there and so was I. But now I am beginning to feel like it was only like that because you HAD to be there and I was there because you HAD to drive me home. I especially loved that on a Monday night it was just, in the car having time to ourselves like the world around us didn't matter because well, you were there. And for me, Mondays are dreadful.. Yet somehow you managed to make me walk around beaming because I know that this, I would look forward to. You know who you are if you're reading this, and whether or not your feelings are reciprocated, it doesn't matter.
You have no time and we've lost our bond.
Only tonight did I realise how that I would no longer work. After you said that you needed to go because you wanted to sleep, a little past 8pm. I completely understand your priorities and that you're trying to change your sleeping pattern, but I don't feel like you have time for me anymore. It used to be fun and we used to talk every night, now it's turned into once a week if I'm lucky. I can't be in a relationship or whatever this us, like that. I can't know that throughout the week I can't speak to you without getting cold responses or no reply at all. You've said on various occasions that I don't speak to you throughout the week anymore. But when I'm sitting here trying, you don't even want to speak to me. So what am I supposed to do? Tell me. Really. Sometimes I don't even think you're ready for a relationship, you're so happy being around so many people and getting out there.
But you see, not speaking throughout the week didn't bother me, Friday night used to always be our night as well, that turned into a bust. I thought that we'd manage because Monday nights were fine, I thought I can try to work with this because we've always got Monday night, but now you're taking that from me too.
If you don't want me here then so be it. But you need to tell me, I need to know, it's not fair on me if I hang around waiting for something that'll never happen.
I know this is something different, but I needed to get it off my chest. It needed to be said and he doesn't have the link to this so the secret's with you, mystery reader.
-The girl who needs to learn how to stop getting attached. Or just stop having feelings overall. Yeah that.