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05/04/16

Yesterday and today have probably been some of the hardest days to come. I feel like my eyes have become numb from all the crying.
The worst feeling in the world is knowing that someone has leading you on the entire time in the relationship. When you clearly knew from the beginning it wasn't a good idea and you went ahead anyway. I don't understand. I honestly cannot comprehend or justify his actions. All I know is how ridiculously hurt I am from them. I thought that what we had was real. I honestly thought maybe I made the right decision for once and I found someone who could actually accept me for who I really am. I opened up to him and I told him things that no one else knows and now I'm sitting here feeling like a pure idiot because to him it meant nothing. Talking to her behind my back, even after the numerous amount of times I told you how insecure I felt about the situation and how I hate that you hide so much from me. Even then I accepted it, I should've followed my gut instinct the first time and just left the last time I was going to.

I don't know whether or not I'm ready for this change but hey we will see. I honestly think these next couple weeks will be the hardest thing for me get through but i will not be a side woman or someone who will just sit here whilst you make up your mind as to who you want.
You can have one or the other, not both.
Maybe one day you'll realize and appreciate the things I've done for you. However I guess this for me is a lesson learnt.

Don't trust people,
They'll just hurt you in the end.