I've also heard him say on several occasions "I don't understand why you're still here, or sometimes I don't know why you stay." 

And now I'm beginning to wonder why too. 

Maybe it's the fact that you don't care about anything: about what people think of you, about what you eat(sometimes) about your decisions. You just don't care. 

I on the other hand care about things alot, in a way I have to care but things like other people's opinions and what not you don't care, I do. 

So maybe the carefree act did it for me.

Although I know alot of the time, it's kind of an act. I understand you too, put up a front. Although, yours seems to be cold, you seem to hide everything and you give off a negative impression unless approached by someone you know. 

I know I tried to soften that, I've tried alot of things with you and they've all led me here. 

It's kind of stupid, I know, that several of these posts are about him, but they are spread apart and it just happens that something new has triggered my thoughts even more into leaving. 

To be continued.. 

Can't think rn.