michelle;simple sweetness

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MiCHELLE NGUYEN
; 15 years of age
attending corinda state high school
haters : hate all you like, its out of my hands

love.. does it really matter anyway?
cos when i said forever, forevers what i meant .

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Thursday, March 27, 2014 4:37 PM

One of the hardest things for me to do ever is opening up fully and completely to somebody. In the past, the first male figure in my life who I valued more than anything walked out on me. He was not only my best friend, he was family. One of the hardest things that I've had to deal with male figure related wise is when he walked out on me. Ever since that it had become hard for me to so remain a stable relationship with male friends that I value enough to call family/best friend. So I would often do silly little things that would agitate them, push them away or I wouldn't say a thing and I'd wait for them to leave. Eventually they did, they got tired of it all. Which is completely understandable. That was kind of the aim, push people away until they left me. Just like my first best friend did, leave.

I suppose it's become such a habit that I'm doing it to my own boyfriend. For the first time ever I can say that he makes things ridiculously easy for me. Easy to open up, easy to be myself and easy to be vulnerable. Something that I have never really been able to do. Because people know little bits of things here and there but you know almost everything, which is really rare.

I guess sometimes it's hard for me to make that transition, not always but sometimes. So I'll play my stupid games and I'll do those same things, kind of like a rest but not meaning for them to be that way..and I guess now I'm waiting for to get sick of me and leave..the way everyone else did.

Each time we pull through it reminds me that you're trying, you're trying to mend what we have. I guess it's hard when it's the first time it's happened.

I don't exactly publicize this blogspot so you might never read this but I wanted to type it out anyway at the minor chance that you do.