Think really far ahead? Yes I did, did I put so much thought that I got into specifics? No. 

I just knew that that was what I wanted at that moment, 

I knew that I couldn't leave straight away so I would need to wait until the circumstances were right with the family at home. 

I just know that everything would and could essentially work out. 

I just really wish that once I set my thoughts onto something I could pursue it.

There are so many things in my life can prevent and could potentially prevent things that I would really like to do. 

It's just that lifestyle that they have, it's so amazing. 

Although somehow the thought of leaving miserable brisbane became really hard to think about and I now feel like I shouldn't. Somehow "you" managed to change my mind within the time span of a couple of hours. 

I honestly don't underhand how it could happen but you did. 

I know I've been struggling to leave you for awhile now but it makes it even harder for me to leave you when you do things like what you did today. 

Part of the reason why i want to leave is to make getting over you easier. 

Have you any idea how hard it is to leave someone so important in your life?

Well it sucks and I don't want to think about it but you're so moody and you change your mind as often as you blink. Some days I swear you are the move lovely person to be around, supportive, enjoyable to talk to and be around and other days I feel as if its a burden to even be talking to you because you're wasting your time on me. 

That's not normal and I hate feeling this way because I can't just change my mind the way you do. 

I need to stick with one and pursue this decision. 

I can't just stand around pretending and trying to continue this as if there's no spark there. Because you need to be honest to yourself and so do I. This either is or isn't going to work out but regardless of this, we need to establish this and admit it to ourselves. I can't play like this anymore. It's only fun in the beginning, now it's taking up so much time and I can't keep walking around thinking one thing if you're thinking the other. 

Maybe leaving will really leave me feeling more relieved in the sense that you'll have someone else around for you. Because maintaining whatever this is that we have isn't something that I can keep up with anymore.